Don't Let This Happen to You

So I literally tossed and turned ALL NIGHT last night deliberating whether or not I was going to post anything about this. I had decided that it was a personal matter and would not need to be discussed with anyone outside of those directly involved, but I convinced myself otherwise.

Disclaimer: I am in NO WAY trying to start a political discussion. I WILL NOT tolerate any lashing or negativity. This is VERY VERY humbling for me.

On to the blog...

My two sons and I are in Oklahoma visiting my family for the Holidays. John will be joining us next Wednesday. Yesterday started like any other morning. Caleb coming to my room way too early so I convinced him to snuggle with me and get a little more sleep. A few hours later he decided he had enough snuggling and insisted on getting up.

Zac was waking a little too but was still sleepy. So I told Caleb to go find Nana and I was going to feed Zac and get him back to sleep. I could hear Caleb with my mom in the bathroom talking and my stepdad Charles was in the front getting ready to head off to work for the day. There was an exchange about water bottles and my mom told Caleb to go get his off the kitchen table.

Then I heard it.

I didn't know what it was. It was a very loud POP and shrieks of horror from Caleb. I thought he had tumbled backwards in the dining room chair. They have high backs and I have been constantly telling him to turn around and sit in the chair right. I immediately get up to run to to him as I hear my mom running down the hall at the same time.

Then I hear her yell OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! I immediately start screaming as I don't have my glasses on and I am seriously blind without them. I can't really see anything other than my mom hovered over Caleb frantically looking him over and Charles, who also heard the sound and came running, saying I'm so sorry, please forgive me.

Still not completely registering what had happened... shaking... and freaking out myself... I am yelling at my mom to tell me what happened.

Then Charles showed me the gun.

My two and a half year old son shot a gun.

Charles had taken his gun down from where he stores it and went to grab his cell phone which charges by the dining room table. Saw that the phone was still charging so went to the garage to quickly grab something he needed to take to work with him. He left his 9mm handgun on the middle of the table.

Let me add here that he did not know that Caleb was awake and with my mom in the bathroom.

Caleb went to the kitchen to get his water bottle and saw the gun. He took it out of the holster and pulled the trigger.

I THANK GOD HE HAD IT POINTING IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION!!! The only injury he has is a scuff and slight bruise on his collar bone where the gun recoiled and hit him.

I will say again I THANK GOD FOR HIS DIVINE PRESENCE AND PROTECTION! Every night our prayers with Caleb begin "Dear Jesus, thank you for this day. Thank you for keeping me safe..." I never realized how much I took that statement for granted.

I still start shaking and my stomach turns in knots when I start thinking about it.

As I lay in bed thinking about this last night and realizing just how lucky we were I decided that this needed to be shared.

40% (give or take) of homes in America have guns in them. To put that in perspective... Of the 13 people who read my blog (me and my 12 followers) 5 of us have guns in our homes.

No matter how "educated" you think your child might be about the dangers of guns they are still children.

Caleb and I had a discussion about the dangers of guns and why we don't play with them. They are only for grown ups and if you ever see a gun you don't touch it and you come find mommy.

That being said... I am 99% sure that he would do the same thing again if he found himself in a similar situation. He's 2 1/2. I would be naive to believe otherwise. I was naive to believe he wouldn't be able to pull the trigger.

But he did. And my world was almost shattered in an instant...

Now I grew up in a house with guns. My dad had a gun case that was always locked. My grandpa had guns in their house. My mom even kept a revolver under her mattress after my parents got divorced. I knew the dangers of guns. I knew they weren't toys and I was not supposed to touch them. But that didn't stop me as a kid.

When I was about 7 or 8, my cousin and I were playing at my grandparents house. They had a big closet in their room and we were allowed to play in their closet and bedroom and the bedroom directly across from theirs. We liked to play hide and seek and house... One night we were playing in the closet and saw that my grandfathers safe was left slightly open. Out of curiosity we opened the door to find some cash and diamonds and a small gun. We ignored everything else but took out the gun. We didn't pull the trigger... don't even know if it was loaded. But we still took it out and played with it even though we both knew what we were doing was wrong.

Don't think your kids are smart enough to know better. I was smart enough to know better but I still played with a gun.

Don't believe that you are ever "safe" if you have a gun in your house.

I am not saying that having guns is wrong and I am not going to go down that road. Just make sure that IF you have guns in your house please be safe. Your child WILL find the gun.

Please do not store a loaded gun in your house unlocked. Especially where your kids can get to them. It doesn't get safer as they get older. Then you have to worry about them "showing off" to their friends.

Don't be afraid to ask the parents of your kids friends if they have guns in the house and where/how they keep them stored.

Again, please don't pass judgement. This could happen to anyone no matter how safe and cautious you think you might be.

I never thought this would happen to me but it did. Don't let it happen to you.

Tears In A Jar - Happy Birthday

So 03 December 2009 would have been my twins' 4th Birthday. It's crazy to think that it has been four years already. But somedays it still feels like it was yesterday.

I am struggling to find the balance between remembering and letting go. Not letting go in the sense of forgetting, but more of a healing. This is a HUGE struggle for me. It seems like just when I think I finally have a grip on things I am tested. And most of the time I fail... sometimes miserably.

To be honest, I hate hearing about people having twins. It irritates me to my core. Especially if I know the person. I always wonder what makes her so special that she can have healthy, full term twins and I can't. There must be something wrong with me. Why her and not me?

It doesn't help that I started having labor contractions Thanksgiving weekend and I had Abigail and Kiersten 3 weeks before Christmas.

I remember that first Christmas... I tried to put on a happy face but I was just going through the motions. I was absolutely NOT in the mood for Christmas but I also knew that it wasn't all about me. I had other family and friends to be with and I didn't want my giref to ruin their otherwise Happy Holidays. So I put on my best happy face and trudged through it. I was barely treading water. I don't know if I was just being overly sensitive or if other people were overcompensating trying to be extra nice to me but I wanted to tear into some people. If I heard someone ask me what I wanted for Christmas one more time....

But I made it through... And I am still making it... One day at a time it seems...

It kind of worked out conveniently the first year for John and I to go cut a Christmas tree on the twins' birthday. That was a nice time and I decided I wanted to make it a tradition.

This year we are in Oklahoma visiting my famliy. The kids and I drove down right after Thanksgiving. So I asked my dad to come with us to cut a tree. Tree Farms in Oklahoma are different from Tree Farms in Michigan. I'm talking different ends of the spectrum. But anyway... we found a tree and Caleb helped cut it down.

One thing that Oklahoma has over Michigan is the weather. It sure was nice tree hunting in the warm sunshine with no snow. Usually in Michigan it is cold and we are trekking through knee deep snow across acres to find the perfect tree.

I'll post pictures when I can get them downloaded.

Drabby to Fabby Makeover (Pics now up)

I know I haven't posted a DTFF in a few weeks... Been a little pre-occupied. Plus, I've been saving up to do show my head to toe makeover.

So without further ado...

Last Friday I went to my fave place, Design One Salon & Spa and hung out with Chris at Aura. She helped me get a whole new look last Summer and I absolutely love love love the line. So the Salon and Aura were having a promotion for Fall Updates so I went in and got some pampering done. Let me just say this, it was nice to get out of the house alone for some much needed ME time.

So Chris hooked me up with a great new look for the Fall. I got some new cream eyeliner too and I must say it is much easier than I thought it would be. Not sure why I waited so long to take the plunge...

Then, on Wednesday, I went to Darcy's and saw Victoria and got a new updated "do". I was flipping through my Sr yearbook and was horrified to discover that I've had the same basic hairstyle since high school. And that was like TWO years ago! OK... OK... It was more like Ten. So I was off by two letters... Who cares? : )

I gave Victoria free reign to do whatever she wanted with only one stipulation - needed to be somewhat low maintenance. Lets face it, I have 2 small children... My makeup only takes 10 minutes... My hair can't take more than that. I don't have the luxury of unlimited, uninterrupted face time in the mirror.

I must say I was rather pleased with the end result.

Then I got my Fabby Feet prize in the mail the other day. You remember, the prize I won for entering Tamara's Drabby to Fabby Friday giveaway??? I got it and decided that my feet needed a makeover too.

So there you have it. My head to toe Drabby to Fabby makeover.

Head on over to Tamara's site and check out the DTFF blogs. Just click the DTFF button on my page. You should post your own DTFF and you could win a Fabbylicious Prize. This week is a Date Night Apron from Quilt A Treasures. I SO want to win this one! It reminds me of something you'd see on I Love Lucy or Ozzie & Harriett (which, by the way, I LOVED watching as a kid. Reruns of course!) only a more modern, sexy version. Did I hear someone say "Clothing Optiinal?"

I had much better photos to show but they somehow disappeared from my phone. Apparently, I can only have 50 photos at a time...

This is face before. No makeup.

This is face and hair after.

Feet before... You could say it's been a while since my last pedicure/polish change.

This is hair before. I think this was taken about 2 or 3 weeks ago. You can get an idea of how long my hair was and you can definitely see the roots showing... I think she cut a good 6 inches off at least.

What's The Word on "The Street"

Forty.

Well... actually the "official" word on the Street is going to be habitat...

That's right folks. Sesame Street is turning 40 on Tuesday, November 10!!!

Sesame Street has come a long way since it premiered November 10, 1969. I don't think there's a person alive today that doesn't know Sesame Street and Big Bird. It has truly bridged the gap between the generations.

Interesting Fact: Caroll Spinney was hand picked by Jim Henson to play Big Bird and he is the only original cast member still on the show. He also does the voice of Oscar the Grouch.

If you've been to Google lately you've probably seen the Sesame Street characters incorporated into the Google Banner. I was curious one day and clicked on Big Bird's legs. I came across this article by CNN Ent. They have released the early seasons of the show on DVD and they come with a warning label.

Sesame Street has a warning label???

"These early 'Sesame Street' episodes are intended for grown-ups, and may not suit the needs of today's preschool child."

According to the article Cookie Monster promotes childhood obesity by his constant gobbling up of cookies. He's a bad influence with his lack of self-control as he eats anything in sight when he's jonesing for that elusive cookie. And he smokes a pipe in a few episodes. And I guess "they" think Oscar was too mean and nasty, He's a GROUCH! What did you expect? Nastiness is part of his name... He's not named Oscar the Pleasant.

My son, Caleb, LOVES Sesame Street. He likes to sing and dance along and he laughs at Oscar and thinks Cookie Monster is "silly". And of course, we can't forget Elmo,

I knew he could count to 10 because I taught him that. At least I think I did... Now I don't really know for sure. But I was pleasantly surprised when I heard him count to 20 on his own. I KNOW I didn't teach him that. He learned that from Big Bird.

SO CONGRATULATIONS SESAME STREET ON YOUR 40 YEARS!!! Here's to 40 more. Who knows... maybe my grandchildren will watch original new episodes of Sesame Street. By then, Sesame Street will no longer be set on an urban street but instead on a planet or under water or something else "new agey".

The Fireman Needs your Prayers

Please say a prayer... light a candle... whatever you do... for The Fireman and his wife. Don't know the whole story, but her dad went into the hospital on 30 October to have knee replacement surgery and while the next few days of recovery progressed he was moved to the cardiac care center and now they are starting dialysis because they believe his kidneys are failing.

You can read more of the details on her blog here.

Drop by their blogs and let them know you are thinking of them.

A Few Things That Make Me Say WHAT THE HECK!?

OK first things first...

Yesterday I spent the majority of the day cleaning house - the whole house. The Hubby comes home and comments about how nice it looks. Then he proceeds to rummage through the fridge trying to find something to eat. In the process he decided to clean it out leaving all the inedible crap on the counter behind him. He turns around and says "Sorry Sweetie for messing up the kitchen"... then walks away!!!

WHAT THE HECK!?!

This is bound to offend someone but its my blog and I don't care...

What ever happened to honor and wedding vows? My husband has a friend tell him recently that out of Friends 5 closest friends my husband is the only one who has not cheated on his wife - including said Friend. This is sad. Apparently, The Hubby knows plenty of people who do this... Seriously...??? I know its not just the men who have affairs... plenty of women do this as well. Someone I looked up to cheated on her husband.

This had me completely floored and I asked The Hubby why someone would do this. His reply: Honor. I would add Integrity, Character, and Morals to the list but they all pretty much mean the same thing. Seriously... have a little respect for your spouse.

I need to get off this soapbox before I really get going. Things like this have a tendency to drive me insane... so I'll just say

WHAT THE HECK!?

Happy Friday Everyone!!!

Get the HECK Outta My House!

So I had another blog topic prepared for today but I decided to postpone said topic in light of very recent events at my house.

12:00 - had lunch with the kids

12:30 - Zac is sleeping soundly in his bed and Caleb and I are picking up his toys

12:45 - Caleb and I are sitting in the rocking chair reading a few books then we start listening to some relaxing Classical Piano music on my MP3 player feature of my phone. It would have made a cute pic: The two of us sitting head to head sharing earbuds. Ahhh... cherished moments.

1:15 - Caleb is sleeping soundly in his bed and I get cozy and lay on the couch with one earbud in one out (So I can hear the kids if needed) for a little relaxing on this drizzly/rainy day.

2:00 - Door to door Kirby Vacuum Salesman comes to the door. I debated answering the door but he saw me on the couch as he got out of his truck. I know because he smiled and wave. Didn't know who or what he was until I opened the door.

He asked if I had heard of something and I said no. He said it would only take 10 minutes and I don't have to buy but he has to show me to get paid. "Plus, it will give me an opportunity to get out of the rain." Dude! You're not walking... you are riding around in a Suburban! Whatever... by this time he was already in my house and living room taking his crap all out.

I looked at him and asked: "Is that thing going to be loud?"

"Well, it is a vacuum."

"As I said before, my kids are sleeping."

"Oh. Is that important?"

"What the $#***&#! do you think!? Do you think I would have told you that my kids were sleeping so you needed to be quiet FIVE TIMES already if it wasn't important?!"

Well... I didn't say that exactly... but I wanted to. Instead I said, "Uh... Yeah! I don't want them to wake up. They need to sleep."

"Well I have to do the demonstration to get paid. And I have to run the machine to do the demonstration. If they wake up I will help you get them back to sleep before I go."

(Like HECK you are!) "OK. Well... we"ll see."

Then he's trying to tell me that my Dyson only has a life span of 3-5 years. And my still looks in good condition. "Oh you've had it for 5 years? Well... uhhhh...."

"How much did you pay?"

"$350"

"well... the new one will cost you $800."

"No it won't. I can get it for just under $500."

"Do you know a guy or something?"

"No. I shop at Costco. And they aren't $800."

So he ran his little machine about 5 times with his little black cloth to show me how much dirt my Dyson left behind. Trying to lure me in.

"Are you a stay at home mom?"

"Do you also run a daycare out of the home?"

"What does your husband do?"

"You guys probably make the buying decisions together, right?"

"Yes."

"Well... has he ever bought anything big without telling you first?"

"Nope."

"Nothing? Not even a TV or steroe? Nothing?"

"Not if it's over $50. That's our agreement. That's one reason we are still married 10 years later."

Then I told him I would prefer if he didn't turn it on again.

"Well I have to turn it on to finish the demonstration."

"I understand that. But my KIDS ARE SLEEPING!!!"

So he calls his little driver in the 'Burb and asks to be picked up. A stupid little conversation takes place between them trying to get me to let him stay in my house and "make the sale".

As he is packing up his crap, Zac starts stirring and making a little noise. I just look at him and smile and say "That's why I asked you to stop."

So I politely escort him to the door and give him the best replica of a smile I can muster.

Now I'm pissed because I didn't get to lay on my couch listening to my pretty music and look at the big beautiful tree across the street with big bright orange leaves rustling in the breeze.

Jerk.

Is Eight Ounces Enough?

Well... it's that time again... Homecoming. Apparently, Homecoming is a big thing here in Michigan. You get a dress... you have the dinner... you take the pictures... then the big party. Haven't figured out how Homecoming is different from Prom really.

Where I come from (Oklahoma) we did things differently. Sure, we had Homecoming but there was no dress... no fancy dinner... no pictures except of the funky ways people would dress for Spirit Week... and the dance was after the game in the gym. No big deal.

So The Hubby and I went to dinner with The Fireman and his wife last night. We went to Louis Benton Steak House, where I might add you can find one of the BEST steaks in Grand Rapids. So LBs as we affectionately call it, is a fancy 5 Star restaurant. They were slightly busy last night being a Saturday.

We had not been seated at our table five minutes before "they" showed up. Twelve of them to be exact. Teenagers. They did not all show up at once. Maybe four at a time. You are lucky enough to have them seated next to our table. That's right, I said YOU. Otherwise I would not have this wonderful and hopefully entertaining blog to post.

So beings my little tale...

The first group shows up... no big deal. Then the second group shows up and instead of waiting for the hostess to show them to the table, they start wandering through the dining room. That prompts a girl already seated at the table to shout out her friends name ACROSS THE DINING ROOM. Which in turn made everyone in the place cringe.

Once everyone had arrived the overall decibel level increased by about 15%. Instead of being in this nice quite atmosphere, I felt like I was sitting in Logans.

They are looking over the menus talking amongst themselves about what they are going to order when we hear the girl at the end of the table ask the question that will go down in the annals of history much like the phrase "Where's the beef?!" At least for the four people seated at our table. She is discussing the size of the Filet and asks her friends "Do you think 8 ounces is enough?"

I think it was at this point that The Fireman and I looked at each other and said "I am SO blogging about this."

Turns out that eight ounces was not big enough. She got the twelve ounce and split it with three of her friends. That's right. FOUR girls split a 12 ounce Filet. It was cute how they were so concerned about the split charge. They decided that they could split the steak themselves but wondered if they would still get charged for the additional plates.

Things quieted down a little while they were eating... but since four of them only had three ounces of steak to eat the quiet didn't last long.

I had the privilege of facing the table so every time they took a picture I got flashed in the eye. I curse the day the digital camera was invented. They took a million pictures. The Fireman was seated across from me and I was seeing so many black spots that his head had a million holes in it.

I guess they were getting bored because they were getting more and more obnoxious as the night progressed. Two of the girls decided to put the "fake" tea lights in their cleavage and pose. One girl started taking pictures of the inside of her mouth. One girl stuck her hand up another girls dress. And one girl was wearing Ugg Boots with her formal dress.

I felt so sorry for the server but luckily their group had more than six so she at least got to add the 18% gratuity.

All in all it was quite an entertaining evening. I think next time the kids should go to Outback. At least they can afford to eat there.

10 Followers!

This is a shout out to my momma. She is my TENTH follower of my little blog. Still trying to figure out why she wasn't the FIRST... but I will take what I can get. To tell you the truth, I never really expected to have any followers. But then I got one... then one became two... three... four... five... well, you get the picture. I do a little happy dance inside when I log on and see that I have a new follower. It has become an addiction. Feed the addiction my Bloggy Friends! : )

Show Some Bloggy Love

So my friend The Fireman has 2 Followers now... and we all know that Followers are like Crack... once you get one you obsess until you get more. Heck... I'm stuck at 9 and I'm always checking to see if I have made it to that first benchmark of 10 yet.

He's got some good stuff over at The Chaos Experience. Show him some Bloggy Love and check him out... If you like what you see, hit that little Follow button.

Tears in a Jar: Praise You in the Storm

"Praise You In This Storm"
-Casting Crowns

I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to you
And you raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You

But as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

I really can't explain it any more than how this song does - but I'm gonna try. If I knew how to post the actual song so you could hear I would.

I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining

I can not tell you how many times I pleaded with God to change His mind and give me my girls. I was convinced if I prayed and pleaded enough God would have to hear me and give in to my petitions. All the while I knew and believed that God is Sovereign and He sees the Big Picture and I can only see one piece. I rest in the knowledge that as my "story" unfolds I will begin to see more of the picture but I will never understand the whole picture this side of Eternity.

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side

In spite of the storm raging around me I stayed focused on God and the Hope that only He could bring to me. In Hebrews 13:5 Jesus says "I will never leave you nor forsake you". When I don't feel like lifting my hands in praise to my God, Jesus is there holding them up for me. When my burden of grief and pain seems too hard to bear, Jesus takes it from me. Psalms 56:8 says "You have taken account of my lament and keep my tears in a bottle". My tears are important to my God.

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to you
And you raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You

It always seemed that in my darkest hour I still felt His presence around me. Keeping me... Holding me... Comforting me... Catching my tears... Right there where I needed Him to be... All I needed to do was reach out my hands and Praise.

MIA and Other Things

I know... I know... it's been a while since my last post. I can't blog very well from my phone and my keyboard decided to go on the fritz and I had to coax it back to reality.

So... I am excited to announce that I won the Drabby To Fabby Friday giveaway last week. They say it was random but I wonder if Tamara just felt sorry for me??? Either way I am super excited to get my prize. My little piggies are gonna be super fabby now too! Go check out Tamara's site or click on my Drabby to Fabby button and you can join in the fun too!

I think I forgot to mention that I also won The Tomato Collection Giveaway from Nicole at Bellies and Babies.

This has been one successful blog experience for me so far! Anyone else have something to give away that I can win?

Even though I haven't been posting much doesn't mean I haven't been working on more blogs. I have about three in the Que right now for Tears in a Jar. I knew this was going to be hard, I just didn't realize how hard it would be to hit the Publish Post button at the end. So, far this has been a personal thing I have kept to myself knowing all the while I needed to share it... All in letting go I suppose. Stay tuned.

The Cute Factor

So I was told by The Fireman that it has been 4 days since my last post and that proper blog ettiquette is one blog entry every other day...

Caleb must have taken some "cute" pills this morning with his vitamins. The Hubby was home for a bit this morning hanging out with us and I was getting Zac changed from his jammies. Caleb comes over and starts pointing out his belly butt(on). Then he proceeds to point out everyones belly butt(on). When we asked him where Zac's belly button was, he says "That's not Zacky, that's Peanut."

"What?" was our reply.

"He's Peanut and I'm Punkin." The names we call them...Haven't ever heard Calebuse those names before.

Then, I took the boys to JoAnn's Fabrics today to get some safety pins. We are standing in the corridor and I am grabbing a basket and loading Zac in the back. I turn around to get Caleb and put him in front and I see him standing in front of the automatic doors with eyes as wide as saucers. I think it just clicked at that moment that he has complete control over the function of the door. He would take one step forward... Doors open... Then one step back... Doors close... Repeat about a hundred times. The expression on his face was priceless. I especially liked the exclamations of "Whoa!" and "Look at that! Did you see that?!" "They open for me!"

Watching him "control" the doors like that reminded me of Travis' blog on the same subject. Only Travis does a "finger wave" ala Jean Luc Picard.

Oh to be a kid again with all its new discoveries.

Thanks for being patient with my "irregular" blog postings. I'll try to be better...

The Fireman

It has come to my attention, in a magical way, that my friend, The Fireman, reads my blog on a regular basis. At work I might add... cause he's a security guard at an empty building so he has lots of free time. He apparently finds me a little humorous too - which is something completely unexpected.

Oh and he's a volunteer Firefighter ... let's give some huge PROPS to these men and women!!!

So, in an effort to provide some alternative reading material for The Fireman I will try to blog more often.

Unfortunately, today is not gonna be one of those days because Caleb has decided not to nap.

Drabby Too Fabby Friday!

So last week I mentioned Drabby To Fabby Friday... here it is! I know you've all been sitting on the edge of your seats waiting in anticipation to see me transform right before your very eyes.

This was something that Tamara at Mad Boastings of a Cheapskate Mom launched last week. I thought I'd jump on the bandwagon, because lets face it, I needed the excuse to "dress up".

So here's the before pic:

Yes those are The Hubby's flannel pants and t-shirt. My jammies are underneath but it's a little chilly in the mornings... and I don't want to wear my jammies all day. This is the usual attire until I get around to getting myself ready for the day... which usually happens sometime before lunch.

Here's the after pic:

I must say I clean up pretty good.

Make-up including Lip Gloss which you can't see because of the self-portrait in the hallway. Nice pants that I wouldn't normally wear around the house. And new shirt I just bought on clearance at Sam's Club yesterday for $2.01. Thought Cheapskate Mom would appreciate this. The shirt is purple with embroidered flowers and beaded embellishments - once again self-portrait.

Don't judge me on my extra curves... I just had a baby and my clothes are either too big or too small... and the too big clothes are really tooooo big.

So there you have it... My Drabby To Fabby.

I must say though that I felt pretty good after taking the time to do this today. It even released my inner "house fairy" which is something even The Hubby will appreciate.

Check out more DTFF transformations here.

Happy Friday everyone!!

Stand Up Old Guy

So The Hubby is gonna hate me for this one...

If you read my blog from last night then you know that he is in Wisconsin. He has some old childhood friends that live there now. They kinda planned the trip around the Michigan State Wisconsin football game.

So I turned on the tube to scroll through college football and I stopped at that game. They periodically show shots of the stadium and it is just a sea of red. I would occasionally get a glimpse of green... but not many.

I sent him a text and jokingly asked if he was the lonely green guy.

His response: "Heck no! I am not wearing my jersey. I'm dead center of the student section. There is one guy wearing green. His experience is really bad. The students are treating him very bad."

Me: "So its that guy I see then. Hope you are at least having fun. Maybe State can come back in the 2nd half and actually play the game instead of giving it away."

The Hubby: "The guys in my section have been referring to me as 'old guy'. Stand up old guy is a disturbing chant. Especially when there are 1,000 kids pointing at you."

Poor guy. He's such a die hard MSU fan too... and it's hard to be a MSU fan lately. Someone needs to introduce them to Gatorade because they always throw away the game in the last quarter/half.

At least Oklahoma is faring pretty good with the temporary loss of Sam Bradford. Landry Jones I think is doing an outsatanding job as a red-shirt Freshman. Big 12 Player of the Week last week. And last week he broke the record for most TD passes in a game (6). Sam Bradford held the record with 5. I think OU is gonna do just fine.

Funny thing is that MSU QB Keith Nichols was formerly of OU. He originally signed with MSU then decided to go to OU. Was there a year and didn't like being behind Sam Bradford because he didn't get to play. Hmmm... Wonder why??? So he went back to MSU. After Sam got hurt a few weeks ago and Landry had to step in, they wound up losing that game. I heard a commentator on the MSU game speaking of Keith Nichols saying "I bet Oklahoma wishes they still had Kieth". Ummm... NO! Seriously... he still wouldn't be playing. Landry Jones is twice the QB that Kieth Nichols is. Props to Coach Stoops and his team... they have a way of picking outstanding players.

Will they go all the way this year? Not sure... but they won't go down without a fight that's for sure.

Sorry for the football rant... I didn't get my official "rant" in this week so I figured I might as well do it now while we are on topic.

Sidenote:

I did NOT eat all my ice cream last night. Decided after about half I should save some for later. Not sure how I convinced myself of that one, but I did.

Friday Friday Friday

Holy Cow! Lots to blog about today...

First things first. Welcome to my new followers! I have 3 now... I just tripled my fan base. Who knew I'd be so popular?

The Hubby is gone to Wisconsin until tomorrow night... kiddos are nestled in bed... and I am sitting relaxing on the couch writing my blog indulging in one sinfully delicious guilty pleasure.

This, my friends, is culinary perfection. Palazzolo's Artisan Gelato & Sorbetto. This particular flavor is Toasted Coconut Almond Fudge Gelato. Imported pure Asian Coconut cream and toasted coconut macaroons blended with fresh dairy and roasted almond halves, a chocolate swirl and fudge pieces. I have died and gone to Heaven. Someone stop me before I eat the whole pint tonight.

I love this stuff... they have so many delectable flavors to choose from. It's made right here in West Michigan and they ship anywhere. Check out the website... order some... you won't regret it. I promise!

We took Caleb to his first Circus last night. Ringling Brothers was in town. So much fun! He had this look of amazement the whole time. It really is The Greatest Show on Earth!

When asked about his trip to the circus: He liked the motorcycles and tigers and elephants the best. The elephants went to sleep (lay down and roll over) and they danced (walked on hind legs) and sat on each other. The tigers walked in a circle and jumped over each other and rolled over. The motorcycles went fast inside the ball and the fast one in the air (on the highwire) with the lady and went in circles (spun around in the wire). Then when it was all done and everyone came back out for the Grand Finale he waved and said Bye to them all as they went backstage again.

Ohhh... to be two again...

The last is something new and fun for Fridays. Tamara over at Mad Boastings of a Cheapskate Mom is spearheading a movement from Drabby into the Fabby. It's called Drabby To Fabby Fridays (DTFF). I am guilty of the Drabby most days. The Hubby takes off to work in the morning and I have the privilege of spending my days at home with two small children. I'm lucky to get out of my jammies or lounge pants by lunch time. My perfume is a new fragrance combination of spit up and poop. Some days I have to change clothes as often as my kids. I have now realized why so many women cut their hair short when they have kids. The purpose of DTFF is get yourself looking Fabby if on;y for one day. She will have lots of cool giveaways on her site for those who participate. Sounds like a ton of fun... and encouragement knowing that I am not alone on my Island of Drab. Can't wait to see the transformations. Go on over and check out Tamara's DTFF post. Look for my DTFF submissions.

Fishing

So The Hubby took Caleb with him to do some running aroung this morning. They wound up at my father in law's house. He lives on a private lake that has some pretty good fishing. The Hubby decided to jump on a canoe and go out on the lake for a bit to see if they could snag something.

He went fishing with Nana (my mom) when she was here visiting a few months ago. We took him out three times and we only caught sticks. But he sure had fun catching those sticks! He still talks about "going fishing with Nana". That's probably how this impromptu fishing excursion started this morning.

They were out there about an hour and Caleb caught three fish!!!

The Hubby said he did OK casting but he reeled those fish in all by himself. He was so proud!

Here's a picture of Caleb (2 1/2) with his first fish.

Tears in a Jar pt1

{Here's a little glimpse into my life. I have been trying to write it out for some time now. There's always a reason why I don't. I feel very strongly that this is something I am supposed to do.

My working title is Tears in a Jar so whenever I write that will be the heading.

Feel free to leave comments or thoughts. And thanks for reading.}

Considering this is my third attempt at writing, maybe I'll get it right this time.

Let me start from the beginning...

The year 2004. My husband, John, and I were at church on Sunday morning. During the worship service I felt like God was telling me I was going to write a book. Crazy. I have always enjoyed writing, but to write a book... that was crazy. So I began to study and seek God for direction. I had a few ideas, but I could never get the momentum started.

Little did I know what was in store for me...

And so my journey begins.

It was now April 2005. We had just come home from our annual vacation to Jupiter, Florida. We took my dad this time and decided to make an impromptu trip to Disney. My dad and I had never been, and John hadn't been since he was a kid. We literally ran through the parks. All four parks in two days. So much fun!

In January of that year we had decided to start a family. So you can imagine our excitement finding out we were pregnant so soon. We told everyone. Ten days later, I noticed I was bleeding when I got out of the shower. An ultrasound the next day confirmed I was having a miscarriage. We were so devastated.

I couldn't believe how attached I had gotten to this baby in such a short amount of time. We were not going to give up.

It didn't take long for us to get pregnant again. It was now June 2005. We learned from our previous experience that life was truly a miracle ordained by God. It was also something you must never take for granted. We were so happy. We thanked God everyday and prayed for our baby; asking God to use it for His glory.

Oh the joy that was overflowing on November 03, 2005, when we found out we were having TWINS! Girls. I was so amazed at the awesome power of God. I remember John telling people "two words that are going to change my life forever... twin girls."

John and I labored twenty long weeks on deciding a name. We finally agreed on one boy's name and one girl's name. We were just waiting on the final verdict of the gender. Now we had to come up with another girl's name... This was going to be torture. We actually hashed it out in about three weeks - record time.

The names were important to us. They needed to have strong meaning and significance. We decided on Abigail (a father's joy) Reece (enthusiastic) and Kiersten (anointed) Alexis (protector of mankind). If we could only know how prophetic these names would actually be.

I had been having contractions over Thanksgiving weekend so I decided to call my doctor. It was normal to have Braxton-Hicks contractions this early with twins and I had just spent the last two days on my feet at work.

By November 30, 2005, I was admitted to the hospital for preterm labor. I was only 23-24 weeks. (For those of you who don't know, 40 weeks is considered full term. I was barely half way.) Because of the contractions I had been having they did an ultrasound. The presenting twin (the one on bottom), Kiersten, had died.

I had what was call Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome (TTTS). It affects a small percentage of identical twins. This happens when the twins share vital blood vessels in the placenta. One twin eventually gets all the nutrients and fluid and the other twin doesn't have enough to survive.

Some people believe that "twin psychology" is at work even in the womb and it is actually the stronger of the twins that gives up her supply so the weaker one has a better chance to survive. If you believe this, as I do, it means that Kiersten was anointed to protect her sister.

Most nights in the hospital were sleepless; but the first was the worst. I don't think I ever stopped praying and begging God for a miracle. I reminded God of all the people He raised from the dead. I talked to Him about how He changed His mind for Abraham and didn't take Isaac and I asked Him to change His mind for me.

I was in my own personal "Garden of Gethsemane". "Not my will but yours, oh Lord." "Take this cup of suffering from me." I knew that God would never leave me or forsake me. I trusted His Divine Providence and Will and I knew he would carry me through this situation whatever the outcome. God understood my pain better than anyone... He lost His only Son.

At 9:15pm on December 03, 2005, Kiersten Alexis was born still measuring 15 ounces and 12 inches. Abigail Reece was born at 9:48pm measuring 11.5 inches and 1 pound 4 ounces. Kiersten had indeed been the bigger twin.

We were so amazed at how tiny they were. It was such a joy to see Abigail kicking and screaming. She even let out a tiny cry. It seemed that both girls were living up to their names.

Abigail was whisked off to the NICU and we spent time with Kiersten. These moments were so bittersweet. We found comfort knowing she was in the arms of Jesus.

Life in the NICU was crazy but short lived. Abigail joined her sister at 3:00am on December 09, 2005. She was a fighter. John and I held her in our arms as her heart was beating its final beats.

Our journey was not over. We knew we were destined to have children so we wasted no time. On March 21, 2006, which was the twins actual due date, I found out I was pregnant again. Oh the Joy that Floods my Soul!

I had my first OB appointment on May 09, 2006. The doctor was having difficulty finding a heartbeat so he sent me in for an ultrasound. Once again, we had lost another baby. We scheduled a D&C on Friday and Sunday was the worst Mother's Day ever.

After that, we decided we had enough heartbreak for a while . We couldn't bear to lose another baby do we decided to wait at least six months before even thinking of trying again.

Apparently God had other plans. You can imagine the look of surprise on my face when I found out I was pregnant in July 2006. I jokingly told people it had to be Immaculate Conception because there was no way this could have happened. Somewhere in the middle of moving and working a fireworks tent 13 hours a day for two weeks (a one hour drive each way I might add) this happened. I don't remember when...

That showed me to never put God in a box. His ways are higher than mine. My due date for this baby was March 31, 2007, just one week behind the twins due date. I was a nervous wreck the whole time.

On Tuesday, March 27, 2007, at 2:55pm John (God is gracious) Caleb (bold) was born - we call him Caleb as he is a fifth generation John. He was a healthy 7 pound 4 ounces measuring 20 inches. That was the happiest day of my life.

Zachary (spiritual) Baxter (tenacious - also my family name) was born at 10:38pm on Sunday, May 10, 2009. The day was also Mother's Day. He was 8 pounds 11.4 ounces and 19 3/4 inches.

Both boys bring me such joy on a daily basis.

I still don't ever really know how to answer the question "How many children do you have?" but I am getting there. One day at a time.

The Tomato Collection

I have been enlightened... now let me enlighten you!

My friend Nicole introduced me to The Tomato Collection by Kevin Kammeraad. I have heard her talk about The Tomato Collection before, but never really followed up with it. (Sorry, Nicole) It's "one of those things" where I was genuinely interested but when I had the opportunity to check it out the information would get lost in the black abyss that becomes my mind on occasions.

Anyway, Nicole saw Kevin recently at the Celebration on the Grand in downtown GR. Her blog contains an impromptu interview she had with Kevin. Read that here. She is giving away a signed copy of his book The Tomato Collection that I would be stoked to get. Now that I have a blog, I finally have the opportunity to win. (Keep your fingers crossed)

I went to Kevin's site and checked out some of his works. My oldest, Caleb (2 1/2), was in the room with me at the time. He was excited by the colorful pictures and the catchy poems. He kept saying "Can we read that one again?"

Kevin also has a link where you can listen to one of his songs from The Tomato Collection cd. We heard "A Pickle for My Christmas Tree" which is a hilarious adaptation of The Twelve Days of Christmas. Caleb was bouncing and dancing and spinning to the tune.

So, if I don't have the privilege of winning this giveaway I will definitely be purchasing some of Kevin's books and CD.

You can check out Nicole's blog, Bellies and Babies, here. And while you're at it, surf on over to The Tomato Collection and check out Kevin's site too.

Thursday Rant It's Official: I'm on a Dishwashing Strike

I HAVE A FOLLOWER!!!! Already, I know! How exciting for me! And no, she's not my mom. By the way, Mom, why aren't you a follower?!? Now I have to make sure I have interesting enough blogs to maintain my following.

Speaking of which... I have been pondering ideas. I like the way Travis over at "I like to fish" has his set up so I might try a similar approach and see how it works out. You can check out Travis here. Funny stuff.

Thursdays will be for ranting... that way I can get them over before Friday and the weekend. Makes sense to me anyway... Let me know what you think. Constructive criticism always welcome. "Props" definitely accepted. : )

So my dishwasher broke shortly before my youngest son was born. He's now FOUR MONTHS OLD!!! And contrary to popular belief, the dishes don't just wash themselves. So I have been washing dishes by hand ever since. Not my idea of a fun afternoon.

Let me just add that my dishwasher could have not broken at a more inconvenient time - both the particular night and in my life. We had just had friends over for dinner and I swear every dish in the house was used for one thing or another. So I easily had two full loads and probably a small third to do. So I load it up and put in the soap and... nothing. UGH! The next morning all the lights were flashing and the number display was counting down from 50. It did that for about two months before it completely shut down. I always joked that there was a bomb inside somewhere malfunctioning. So you can imagine four months later I had quite the science experiment growing in my dishwasher. It wasn't really as bad as it sounds; but I never imagined that I would still be looking at it four months later.

Washing dishes is such a time consuming task for me that I thoroughly do not enjoy and I have to do it every day to stay on top of the regenerating pile of dishes in my sink. Dishes are like the laundry... you think you have everything cleaned and put away then you find more. Ugh! My hubby and I have had many "discussions" about this over the last four months. I had to convince him that even though there doesn't seem to be many dishes in the sink it still takes me at least an hour to complete the task from start to finish. I will spare you the details... just trust me on this one. I timed myself numerous times.

For those of you who know that my husband is a plumber, I should tell you that this was an electrical problem. So it is not his fault. Now the leaky faucet... that's another story. We know an appliance service tech who insisted that he could tell my husband how to fix this problem over the phone. He was trying to do us a favor by not having to charge us to come out himself. I can appreciate this. But, on the other hand, my husband is a very busy guy, and this guy was not always available when my husband had time to mess with the dumb thing.

Finally, my husband tells him to just come out to the house and we will pay him the $45 service fee for him to tell us what's wrong so we can do something about fixing it. Something we wanted him to do all along... I think my husbands exact words were "can you get someone out here today because my wife is threatening me with divorce papers?"

So a few hours later he shows up. Long story short, it would take almost $450 in parts to fix my 8 year old dishwasher. No thanks! I wanted a new dishwasher anyway.

So we bought said dishwasher last night from Best Buy. Its pretty... stainless... nothing on the front but the sleek handle... buttons on the inside... Soon to be the new beacon of light in my kitchen. Once my plumber husband installs it.

When I jokingly (seriously) asked him if he was going to install it when we got home last night he said "sure, but there aren't any dirty dishes." Problem solved... my dish washer went on strike effective immediately. She works for the union, as do I, so I can't cross the picket line and maintain my dignity with the union. (heehee)

I thought maybe washing dishes all this time would be good for my hands and nails... but its not. All those commercials lie when they tell you their dish soap will leave your hands soft and strengthen your nails. I'm gonna find that old hag, Madge, and give her a piece of my mind!

Don't know who Madge is? She was the "star" of Palmolive advertisements back in the day. The commercials would show her out and about around town and everywhere she went women would stop her and say "Look, Madge" and hold out their hands for her to see how soft their hands were. What a load...

Anyway... I digress...

Cheap Entertainment

Ok... so let me start with a little background information. We live on a dead-end street that's only about a block long. The street has a slight incline to it and if you go half way up you can get a nice coasting speed going. My house is situated at said point.

Today I was sitting in the floor playing with my two boys. It was a nice day so I had the windows open.

These 4 guys came walking up my street. They were making a lot of noise as guys often do so they instantly caught Caleb's attention. We have a big picture window in our living room that looks out the front and into the street. So he ran right over to see what they were doing.

Let me take a minute to describe the 4 guys in front of my house. All 4 guys were older... highschool age. Guy1 was average build and a little taller. Guy2 was average build. Guy3 was tall and skinny. Guy4 was... well... he had to be at least 200 pounds.

4 guys. 2 skateboards. Now comes the fun part.

Guy1 lays down on his board on his stomach and bends his knees so his feet are in the air. Guy2 sits on top of him and holds onto his legs and they go rolling down the street.

Cheers and high-fives commence.

They come back and Guy1 again lays down flat on his stomach and Guy2 lays down flat on top of him, also on his stomach.

Guys 3 & 4 think this is "awesome" so they decide to try it.

So Guy4 lays on top of Guy3. Now keep in mind Guy3 is the skinny one. They didn't get very far before they toppled over.

Next, Guy1 sat on the back of the board and wrapped his legs around Guy2 seated in front. Guy3/4 did the same. This time they raced. Didn't see who won.

Then, the louge. One guy flat on his back the other laying on top. Only this time Guy4 was on bottom of his team. Loud yells of approval and I think someone fell off.

End of show. I guess you never know what you might see when 4 guys get bored. Caleb wanted to know where the "funny guys" went when they didn't come back.

Hope you enjoyed my first official blog.

Blogging Virgin

So... I decided to jump off the blogging cliff today... Thought I could use a productive - or not so productive - outlet for my personal confessional so to speak. Maybe I just need a way to purge all this "stuff" that floats around in my head all day from being a mom to two boys... There's only so much intellectual conversation a 2 1/2 year old can provide. My 4 month old talks A LOT, but I don't think we speak the same language. When I talk to him he just looks at me with a funny grin. He occasionally does the customary "uh huh" and he sometimes laughs at the right moments; but I don't think he is really listening to what I say.

My day consists of Dr. Seuss and Baby Einstein... feeding... napping - not for me... and everything else in between.

Maybe you, my reader, can find some enjoyment in the blogs to come.