Get the HECK Outta My House!

So I had another blog topic prepared for today but I decided to postpone said topic in light of very recent events at my house.

12:00 - had lunch with the kids

12:30 - Zac is sleeping soundly in his bed and Caleb and I are picking up his toys

12:45 - Caleb and I are sitting in the rocking chair reading a few books then we start listening to some relaxing Classical Piano music on my MP3 player feature of my phone. It would have made a cute pic: The two of us sitting head to head sharing earbuds. Ahhh... cherished moments.

1:15 - Caleb is sleeping soundly in his bed and I get cozy and lay on the couch with one earbud in one out (So I can hear the kids if needed) for a little relaxing on this drizzly/rainy day.

2:00 - Door to door Kirby Vacuum Salesman comes to the door. I debated answering the door but he saw me on the couch as he got out of his truck. I know because he smiled and wave. Didn't know who or what he was until I opened the door.

He asked if I had heard of something and I said no. He said it would only take 10 minutes and I don't have to buy but he has to show me to get paid. "Plus, it will give me an opportunity to get out of the rain." Dude! You're not walking... you are riding around in a Suburban! Whatever... by this time he was already in my house and living room taking his crap all out.

I looked at him and asked: "Is that thing going to be loud?"

"Well, it is a vacuum."

"As I said before, my kids are sleeping."

"Oh. Is that important?"

"What the $#***&#! do you think!? Do you think I would have told you that my kids were sleeping so you needed to be quiet FIVE TIMES already if it wasn't important?!"

Well... I didn't say that exactly... but I wanted to. Instead I said, "Uh... Yeah! I don't want them to wake up. They need to sleep."

"Well I have to do the demonstration to get paid. And I have to run the machine to do the demonstration. If they wake up I will help you get them back to sleep before I go."

(Like HECK you are!) "OK. Well... we"ll see."

Then he's trying to tell me that my Dyson only has a life span of 3-5 years. And my still looks in good condition. "Oh you've had it for 5 years? Well... uhhhh...."

"How much did you pay?"

"$350"

"well... the new one will cost you $800."

"No it won't. I can get it for just under $500."

"Do you know a guy or something?"

"No. I shop at Costco. And they aren't $800."

So he ran his little machine about 5 times with his little black cloth to show me how much dirt my Dyson left behind. Trying to lure me in.

"Are you a stay at home mom?"

"Do you also run a daycare out of the home?"

"What does your husband do?"

"You guys probably make the buying decisions together, right?"

"Yes."

"Well... has he ever bought anything big without telling you first?"

"Nope."

"Nothing? Not even a TV or steroe? Nothing?"

"Not if it's over $50. That's our agreement. That's one reason we are still married 10 years later."

Then I told him I would prefer if he didn't turn it on again.

"Well I have to turn it on to finish the demonstration."

"I understand that. But my KIDS ARE SLEEPING!!!"

So he calls his little driver in the 'Burb and asks to be picked up. A stupid little conversation takes place between them trying to get me to let him stay in my house and "make the sale".

As he is packing up his crap, Zac starts stirring and making a little noise. I just look at him and smile and say "That's why I asked you to stop."

So I politely escort him to the door and give him the best replica of a smile I can muster.

Now I'm pissed because I didn't get to lay on my couch listening to my pretty music and look at the big beautiful tree across the street with big bright orange leaves rustling in the breeze.

Jerk.